311: How I’m Managing Life, Motherhood and Business

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311: How I’m Managing Life, Motherhood and Business

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This week I am back with a solo episode where I am sharing: 

  • How moving back to NY has been life changing & what I’ve learned from my entry into motherhood 
  • How I am focusing on my mindset and systems this quarter
  • What I am hiring for in my life & the book that inspired these ideas + so much more

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Nicaila Matthews Okome 0:02

You're listening to side hustle Pro, the podcast that teaches you to build and grow your side hustle from passion project to profitable business. And I'm your host, Nicaila Matthews Okome. So let's get started. Hey guys, welcome. Welcome back to the show. It's Nicaila here and I am back with a another solo episode, giving you guys an update on what I've been up to. So I have my notes here. And yeah, let's just get into it. Let's get into these updates. So, first things first, the last time we spoke, I think it was back in March, I was getting ready to go to the podcast Hall of Fame ceremony, because side hustle Pro was inducted into the Hall of Fame this year 2022. So amazing, amazing experience, I actually vlog that whole thing over on my YouTube channel, and I cross posted it. So it's on the side hustle Pro YouTube Channel, and it's on the Mikayla TV YouTube channel, that's my lifestyle YouTube channel. And so go over there, you know, scroll back to March and you'll see all that went down leading up to the podcast Hall of Fame, you'll even be able to see my acceptance speech.

So I absolutely enjoy the experience, I'm so glad I decided to go in person. And I'm so glad I had the opportunity to. And the reason I had the opportunity to is because of the fact that Moya and I now have support. Our parents were able to help with Kingston while you know, I was traveling and he's working during the day. So it really worked out. And it just goes to show how much this move for us has been life changing. So for those of you who don't know, we lived in Baltimore for the last two years, but then the DMV area overall for the last 10 years. And we moved back to New York and February 2022. So moving back, it was kind of on a whim, but we ultimately decided to do it. Because our lease was up and we're like, you know, we can stay here and still be kind of isolated, or we can move back. Yeah, there are lots of pros and cons. But you know, the ultimate priority was just having our village here. So with both of our sets of our parents here, it has been life altering. And also, we found a great daycare that we love here in New York. So between Kingston going to school, and a daycare, we use those interchangeably. So between him going to school, and then us having help from our parents, it has been incredible. And I've been able to get back into a very good work mental zone. And I'll get to that in a second. So having the help from our parents means that we can do things like have date nights again. And if an opportunity comes up like yesterday, I was filming something really exciting that is going to be released, and of September. So I can't wait to share that with you guys. But I was able to spend the whole day filming and being a part of this because I know that my parents can pick him up from school, I know that he's going to be okay. And he's adjusted. So the magnitude of that can't even be put into words. And that is how I'm able to resume coming to you guys and podcasting at a level that I love. Like of course, in 2020 2021, I was still doing the podcast, I was hanging on by a thread, okay, I was hanging on by a thread. I don't even know how I started video podcasting in 2021. Because we were doing this on our own like they're like Moya would literally be you know, like trying to keep Kingston occupied in the living room while I'm recording in my closet office hoping that you guys aren't hearing, you know, baby screams and crying or anything on YouTube in the background. So you know, by the grace of God, we made it through a really isolating time not having that support. And so I realized a few things from my entry into motherhood. Let me share something with you guys. So

I'm of two mindsets, I realized the first thing that I realized is that I am so grateful that I was able to stay home with Kingston for two years and be the primary caregiver during the daytime right, holding him down. We would do shifts that Moyer would do night and mornings I would do bulk of the day. And I'm so grateful that I designed a life and career for myself with the help and love of God, you know, thank you God. But I'm so grateful that I have this kind of career and flexibility where you know, technically I took maternity leave. I'm putting that in quotes for three months. flew by. And you know, then I got back to recording my podcast, you know, getting into my emails, brand deals, all of that at a much slower pace. at a much lower level, I really feel like I fell off the grid, like I feel sometimes, like everybody forgot about me. But I kept moving consistently, because I knew that you know, you just have to keep going forward. Not every season is a season where you're like, up and out there and on the scene, so I knew I had to keep pushing, and keep going. And I was grateful that I have a career where I'm literally working, and my business and the thing that's making me and generating money for me is happening at the same time that I'm home with my son. That's why I love podcasts. And you guys, I talk about it so much. But then there's the other side of me that realize that I love to work, I love what I do. And I love to work. And I want to feel, I don't want to feel like a mom who is dabbling on the side in a hobby, like, I want to feel like this is a career, this is a professional job right here, I'm doing professional work, and I'm getting dressed, I'm getting up and I'm doing the damn thing. So I like that part of me too. Like I spent so many years in corporate and that side of me is still in it. So yesterday when I went to, you know, work on the secret project, I was back in that zone because I was away, you know, nine to like seven. And I remembered what that's like, and I felt so I was buzzing, I don't want to do that every day, I definitely don't want to go into office every day. But I do enjoy having real dedicated time to do what I want to do. So having a baby definitely illuminated that for me like I like both of these worlds, I want to do both. And I believe that I can do both and have both. But what needs to happen in order for that to happen is that you need that support, you need that village. And so nowadays, when any of my friends get pregnant for the first time, or women reach out to me or I see anyone who's about to have a baby, first of all, I'm so excited for them. And then I'm also I get nervous for them, I get anxious, because I'm not sure anybody could prepare you for how much your life is going to shift. And no matter who you think you are, how much you think you know, you are naive right now, you are naive right now. But here's what I'm going to tell you. And I hope that you can be a little less naive if you act on this. So most people, when you're getting ready to have a baby, everyone's like showering you with knowledge about you know, the birth and the actual having a baby part, they are showering you with info on what to put on your registry, which stroller to choose. And the reality is, you need to be thinking about who is going to take care of that baby, when you go back to work, who's gonna take care of this kid. If you like to work like myself and you plan to go back to work, who is going to take care of that baby, the baby can't just be left alone by themselves, right. So some life decisions need to happen whether one parent's going to stay home, whether you're going to put them in daycare, whether you're going to hire a nanny, opare whatever it may be. And in order to do that, it takes time, it takes much more time than I knew. That's where the naive part comes in. It takes much more time to interview, hire, test out nanny or babysitter, we still don't have a nanny, um, that process was a little bit stressful for me traumatizing, I won't say traumatizing, but it was too much for me, because people, especially other business, women who have never had a child, like to say things like, oh, I'll just hire a nanny or you know, just hire a nanny. They make hiring a nanny sound like hiring a TaskRabbit. Like, you're just gonna go onto this website and then see someone and know that they're trustworthy, they're honest, they're gonna take care if your child like you want them to, they're not crazy, it's gonna be safe. You cannot assess those things from a website, no matter how many reviews a person has. So the reality is, you're likely going to rely on people, you know, family or other babysitters or nannies that someone else has used. And you know, that was the first babysitter we hired, you know, a person in my extended village was in Baltimore, and I was able to tap into her, and you know, get that information. Shout out to you, Jessica. And you know, that level of knowing someone who has worked with this person, you need that referral to in order to trust who you're going to trust with your baby. So I'm gonna wrap that up right here, that portion of this solo update, but you know, I thought about it because I think it was it was definitely my leak shared something last night. I'm recording this in July, by the way, early July. So she shared just this Instagram reel where someone is sharing Oh, you know, as a mom, you need to take care of yourself when you show up for yourself. If you can show up for everybody else. And you know, the caption was a person who has a nanny and hasn't yet mentioned, they have a nanny. So essentially, it was saying, some people will act like, oh, you need to do this, and you need to wake up at four and you need to exercise you need to do all these things. And the reality is, you're not going to be able to do it until you figure out this childcare situation. So moms, it's okay, if you need to get a handle on that situation in your life before you can dedicate more time to your side hustle, do not beat yourself up for that, it's taken me two years to get to a point where I feel like I am back working full time and side hustle Pro, that is the journey that we've been on, you know, in the crazy two years. So I'm just sharing that with you guys. So you can kind of see where I'm at mentally, and with my goals. So my goals look a lot different these days, and how I approach my goals look a lot different. And I actually want to update. So I'm waiting, I'm trying to figure out the right time, I want to update my goal getter action plan a little bit. Because how I approach things have shifted a little bit, I still follow the 12 week sprint system. As a matter of fact, I'm looking at my q3 sprint and goals and focus right now as I speak to you. I know my system in my head because I'm going through it and I know how things have shifted. So I just want to figure out how to articulate it to you guys. So that it makes sense. Because, you know, I know what I'm doing. I know what works for me, and like sitting down to really think through, okay, how do I recalculate? How do I make sure I'm getting things done? With this crazy new like system and flow that I have going on? It's working for me? How do I help it to work for others. So that's the process I'm going through right now. But as soon as I'm able to iron that out, I'll let you guys know, and I'll update that for you. But you can definitely still use the sprint, you know, the whole process I outlined as it is. And it'll only be even more exciting and even more attainable, even more achievable, even more realistic when I'm able to update it somewhere.

So now, I want to shift into some of my goals for q3 or at least just telling you how I'm approaching it. Because I still like to lay low and build. So I'm not gonna be like, Oh, I'm working on this, this and that y'all y'all will see. But what I am working on is the mindset, the mindset piece is so important, we have to keep cultivating that. So one of the best books that I've read this year is we should all be millionaires by Rachael Rogers. And I've seen the book before. I've admired Rachel from afar, but I didn't actually read it until maybe a couple months ago, my sisters had been recommended it. And so I finally listened to it on audio books, because that's how I get my books in. So I finally listened to it. And one of the biggest takeaways for me was just that, you got to figure out your life team before you can figure out your work team, meaning you have to hire who you need in your life to support your life before you can even focus on who you're hiring for your side hustle, and your professional business. And for so long, I kind of downplayed that. And I was trying to do a lot on my own. I mean, we had a cleaning service in Baltimore, and that was really, really helpful. But then once we moved, again, finding someone that who you like and trust to be up in your house, that's a process as well. And I was kind of putting it on the back burner, putting it on the back burner, until I read that and said, You know what, I need to get on top of this, because I work from home. My environment is so so so important to me. I wouldn't say I'm a neat freak. But I need things to be somewhat clean and clear in order for me to think straight. Because if I see a bunch of clutter, all I'm thinking about is removing all that clutter. And you know, it's interesting, because you'll read some books right now I'm on to the big leap by Gay Hendricks. So in that book, he talks about, well, the chapter I'm in, he's talking about how you need to remember what the priority is in your life. So if you're waking up in your cleaning before anything else, and you know, that's what you've gotten done for the day, then your priority must be cleaning. And so it's not that my priority is cleaning. But I know that if that's going to take away from what I'm able to get done, either I'm going to need to leave my house and go to a coffee shop. I don't necessarily want to work from a coffee shop, or I just need to make sure that this gets done to a level where it's not distracting me. So I do make sure that I do that. I don't prioritize it over everything else. But I'm getting to a space where I'm making sure that I have a clear Zen space to work from. But I made sure that we hired a new cleaning service we had to test it out like anything else. It comes with trial and error. So you know we had tested out maybe three and now Are we finally in a good place where I think we'll have a stable person. So I'm so grateful for that. And that's extremely, extremely helpful. Rachel also talks about outsourcing your laundry. I'm not sure about that yet. I used to, you know, when I didn't have washer and dryer, but we do have a washer and dryer. So it's just still like, I could just do this myself, what I have done is I need to share this on the cable TV, YouTube at some point, I got these fold away hampers on Amazon. And what I do now is I don't fool myself into thinking I'm going to do laundry, I'm going to actually wash dry the clothes and fold it in the same day, sometimes not even the same few days. But what I do now is I have these aesthetically pleasing little pop up hampers. And so now I could do a little laundry, wash it, dry it and then put it in the hamper. And then sometimes I'll just I'll have like three of those in our closet so that I don't have to look at a pile of clothes, on our arm chair on our bed on our couch like that would drive me crazy. But now the clothes are clean, we might have to go into the hamper. We might have to steam it a little bit more to wear it. But it's clean. And the dirty hamper isn't overflowing either. People always ask about laundry laundry is one of the especially when you have a kid laundry just comes out of nowhere. You know, you got linens, you got this, you got that. So that's one thing that I've been doing. I'll let you guys know if I eventually started outsourcing again. But you know, that's one of the things she recommends. But you know, hiring in your life is critical. One thing I'm definitely going to hire at some point as a chef, it's really hard to do. Because I'm picky. I want someone who can you know, cook Jamaican food Cook Nigerian food. And yeah, if

you guys know of anyone in New York, let me know, hit me up Hyatt side hustle pro.co, I would definitely pay for that service. Because you know, I want to make sure we're eating nutritious meals. And I don't necessarily want to cook the meals all the time. Because that takes away from time that I could be doing my work. I also realized that I don't enjoy cooking, so I can't cook. And you know, I actually spoke to my therapist about this. At one point, not recently, but maybe last year, like the guilt trip that's put on women to do everything well and to want to do everything. Well. Why is that? Like? Nobody ever looks at a man like, Oh, you don't like cook him? What kind of man are you? And you know, she just she was like, yeah, that's ridiculous. Like, why do you think you should love cooking because you're a woman, like, That's ridiculous. So it's been freeing to release that I've even had trouble speaking that because I didn't want people to judge me. But I've been saying it more and more to release that. Like, I don't care. I am not ashamed of that. So especially you know, growing up in Jamaica, you know, we moved here when I was six. But when we were in Jamaica, we did have a housekeeper, we did have someone who that's very common in places like Nigeria and Jamaica. So I don't know why there's so much shame around it sometimes. So I would love a housekeeper I would love a cook. And I'm willing to sacrifice in other areas. For that I'm willing to sacrifice big and other areas for those things. So going back to the Rachael Rogers book, because it all comes back to we should all be millionaires, when those staple life things in your life can be taken care of. And I know not everyone can hire a chef, or you know, a net, all these other things right away. But you can build up to it. She talks about too, that sometimes, when you tell yourself that, then you get into a rhythm where you cannot work on the things that are one day going to elevate you from your current position. So even if it's going on to a TaskRabbit surface, and you know, finding someone at a rate that you like to come in once a month to do something, it doesn't have to be the cleaning. It could be even like putting up stuff around the house fixing stuff around the house. The money that you spend in those areas comes back to you in other ways. So for me, if I'm able to use that time to brainstorm and pitch a brand campaign that connect me 1000s The hundreds that I spent in that other area will be worth it to me. But I have to make sure I'm doing that I can't just be spending money and not doing revenue generating activities to bring that money, you know, twofold threefold back to me. So that book was really helpful in getting me into a mindset where I I have to remember what is my goal? What am I trying to achieve? Am I trying to be the best laundry doer? Or am I trying to be a loving wife and mom who also is a badass career woman and that I'm trying to lead her so I'm making decisions that feed that goal.

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many thanks to today's sponsor Thrive Cosmetics for sponsoring today's episode. So I really appreciate drives clean skin loving ingredients and the fact that their products have no parabens, sulfates or phthalates. Their products are certified 100% vegan and cruelty free. And one of my favorite products is the lip gloss. I use it to just put on top as my last layer. And I've been searching for a really good clear lip gloss and I finally found the perfect one from Thrive Cosmetics. It's not too sticky. It's not overly shiny because I'm too grown for that. It just has a nice subtle shine to it. All right. And can we talk about this liquid extensions mascara, I tried it out and it is worth the hype. It has over 15,005 star reviews and with good reason because it really is a lengthening mascara that brings out your eyes and it lasts all day without clumping, smudging or flaking. Plus, it's easy to remove sometimes when I'm taking off mascara, I would have like dark residue around my eyes. But this comes off really easily. So definitely check out Thrive Cosmetics you guys. And cause is in the name for a reason. By the way, they have a bigger than beauty promise in which every single purchase supports organizations that help communities thrive, you get it. And right now you can get 15% off your first order when you visit, thrive cosmetics.com/hustle Pro, that's Thrive Cosmetics, c au semetics.com/hustle Pro for 15% off your first order, enjoy. So in order to feel that goal, I have to improve my systems. Now I've always been about systems. We talked about this in a go getter Action Plan mini course. You know, you can have goals, but it's the systems that help you accomplish those goals. It's the systems that get the goals done. So I'm continually working on my systems continually working on okay, what do I do in the morning? You know, how does that start my day? What do I do in the evening? How can I wind down faster? How can I make sure I don't get stuck in a spiral loop on my phone? How can I be more disciplined and get into bed at a decent hour so that I'll be waking up earlier? Or how can I even wake up earlier even when I didn't get the amount of sleep that I would ideally like because these systems are what are going to set me apart. And it's what is going to get me where I want to get in addition to those things, so mindset is what I'm focusing on this quarter. My systems is what I'm focusing on this quarter, and then the kala I'm defining who's Mikayla over and over again, there's no blueprint for my career. So I'm constantly navigating. Who am I? What do I do? And right now, I know that I want to do more content creation. I think I've talked about this before with you guys, but if not welcome welcome to my world. So I believe that what I do you know, as a podcaster I'm a content creator as a YouTuber, I'm a content creator. I believe that these platforms open up so many opportunities for you to do anything in your life whether you want to be a host, a commentator, what you guys know that I want to do more of, and whether it's you want to start your own actual physical product brand one day, which I also want to do as well. What I'm doing right now as I figure out the path After those other things is creating content is building an audience is continuing to share with the world who I am and what I'm good at. Because that opens up the doors to so many other things, while I'm also helping and impacting other people's lives. So it's just something that's really been illuminating. For me, it's really been made crystal clear that this is what I need to be doing. In addition, I really enjoy it. I could get, you know, 50 views on a video and I don't want 50 views. But um, when I see a finished product that I have done, I can't even explain to you the the happiness, the pride, like I enjoy watching my own videos, I enjoy the content. Hope you guys enjoy it too. But I know I enjoy it. But no, it's not about me though, I am making content for specific person. And I know who that person is. I know what that person wants and likes. And I know how I fit into that, you know, I know.

I know how I need to serve my audience. And that's always really, really key. I gave myself the freedom to take some time to figure that out with Mikayla TV and I'm getting into such a good, good space with it. Definitely with the podcast, I did that pre work. I talked about that in podcast moguls. So if you guys have any questions about that definitely hit me up at higher side hustle pro.co. But with any kind of content you create, the most important question to ask yourself is who is this for? What do they need? What are they missing in the current content? They're consuming? Where do I fit in? Where do I come in? What do I have to offer that fills that gap? Okay, so start there. That's where I've always started with my content creation. And I'm a content creator, continually learning the craft, learning how to storyteller in different formats. And it's been very, very enjoyable. I don't know exactly where it will take me. That's how I started off the podcast. So it's very cool. That my latest side hustle than a cable TV YouTube channel, that I find myself back in that space of starting something, knowing that I'm onto something, knowing that it's important, knowing that the skills I'm developing are important, but not sure exactly where it will lead me. And side hustle Pro has led me to boardrooms, places that I've never, never even knew existed. It's led me to the podcast Hall of Fame. It's leading me onto screens on to TV on to magazines, and I just have to trust the process. I just have to continue doing good work with Mikayla TV and knowing that the same will occur and the way it's supposed to occur. I don't know what will happen. I honestly don't know. And I'm comfortable with that I'm comfortable with saying things like that now. But I know that my job is to keep on putting good work into the world, giving it quality time, and quality focus. And I know that it will develop into something beyond my wildest dreams. So what that looks like, though, is having devoted content creation hours and days. And again, because we have the village and the support. I know I can plan around that. You know, kids daycares can always call and pop up with something. But I'm going to keep on trying and making sure that I do have work hours to you know, go do some filming, I write down, I plot out and map out when I'm going to film when I'm going to film new video ideas and continue to do that with side hustle Pro as well. You know, we're doing guest outreach. We're researching guests, we're figuring out the ways to make the show even more robust to make the social media clips even more robust. So my mind on the content front is always always been in you guys. I'm so excited to keep on growing in front of you to show you what's next. And a part of content creation as well is I'm doing more brand partnerships. I'm stepping into the lane. I'm stepping into the lane, even more as a host, a commentator and a brand partner and I'm enjoying learning about this space and I'm really looking forward to doing more sharing with you guys as I do more exciting news for side hustle Pro. So side hustle Pro YouTube Channel is not monetized. And the cable TV YouTube channel is over 1000 subscribers so I'm really excited about where those group Signups are pro podcast. It's so funny because I just started sharing the episodes on the YouTube channel last year, I had always kind of taken it for granted. And because of the fact that you know, it's long form content so people are spending more time on my channel when they do watch even if it's less people watching the video. There's more time on that video and that's what YouTube pays attention to the minutes watch. The watch hours are what gets your show monetized. So it's been really interesting to see how that channel you know has even exceeded my expectations before and tequila TV so we're gonna keep it going and see where it goes. So just to reiterate, I talked about this quarter, I'm focusing on mindset, I'm focusing on improving my systems, I am focusing and leaning into being a content creator. And the last thing I'm focusing on I'm always focusing on is being an instructor and coach, I truly enjoy teaching what I know. And what I know. It's social media marketing, I know podcasting, I know, side hustling,

these are the three lanes that I really, really lean into, I really enjoy teaching and talking about. And so this quarter, I will be updating my marketing funnels, my freebies, and you know how I grow my email list. Because one, I don't always want to rely on social media, social media is great for a lot of things. But the algorithm changes can be really annoying, even for me, like as much, I will always tell you to use these platforms use them, don't let them use you. That's about to be my tagline. That might be some new videos I create, you guys are watching my brain turn in real time. Okay, so I am always big on using them, don't let them use you. And I have kind of been a little more casual with my email list, which I shouldn't have been. But I just knew it was going to take a whole bunch of upgrading across my funnels. And I wasn't ready to do it yet. But now I'm ready to do it. So I have podcasting. Like I said, marketing, side hustling, I might just be focusing on one, just podcasting this quarter we will see because I really want to take the time to develop really, really valuable freebies, and be able to start to organically share them, but then ultimately put some more pain behind them and yet build out that list. Because at the end of the day, your list everyone talks about it, you know already you own the list, you don't own social channels, I have a list that I'm proud of. But I could be doing more. And so I'm going to start doing more because it's time I'm ready to take it on. So I'll be focusing on sharing what I have going on as much as I share with you guys, the awesome brands that I partner with, I want to make sure you know what you can get at side hustle pro.co. I want to make sure you know what I already have develop that may answer some of the questions that you have. So stay tuned for that. I'll be focusing on that this quarter. I need to get into a regular system of updating you guys right now. It's kind of just like when I feel ready to come on and talk where it used to be more regular. And I'm sorry about that if you miss these updates, if you missed the updates, let me know. But one place, you can definitely get updates from me more regularly is on my newsletter. So kicking off the week, every Sunday we have the six bullet Sunday newsletter that I sent over to you and it comes to your email inbox. So go over to side hustle pro.co/newsletter Make sure you're subscribed to that. Coming to your inbox share a little bit of what I'm up to what I'm listening to working on inspired by my business tip of the week, and I really enjoy writing those so make sure you're staying in touch each and every Sunday by being on that email list. Side Hustle pro.co/newsletter to get the six bullet Sunday news letter. And with that you guys, keep up with me outside of the podcasts on Instagram at side hustle Pro Shop side hustle pro merch especially the beautiful side hustle pro gold mug at side hustle shop.co All of this will be linked in the show notes. And with that, I'll talk to you next week. There you have it. Hey guys, thanks for listening to side hustle Pro. If you like the show, be sure to subscribe rate and review on Apple podcasts. It helps other side hustlers just like you to find the show. And if you want to hear more from me, you can follow me on Instagram at side hustle Pro. Plus sign up for my six bullet Saturday newsletter at side hustle Pro, that CO slash newsletter. When you sign up, you will receive weekly nuggets from me, including what I'm up to personal lessons and my business tip of the week. Again that side hustle pro.co/newsletter to sign up. Talk to you

Unknown Speaker 34:19

soon

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Meet the host:

Nicaila Matthews-Okome

Hi! I’m Nicaila, the Creator and Host of the Side Hustle Pro Podcast. I started Side Hustle Pro when I was a side hustler myself. I was a digital marketer at NPR by day, side hustler by night. Through the powerful stories shared on this show and the courage to launch my own initiatives, I was able to quit my own job and go full time with Side Hustle Pro.

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201: I QUIT my Job! (REWIND)

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